Confused Identity
by DaughterofWinter
Summary: Imagine waking up in a strangely familiar world, without knowing who you are. What would it do to you? Would it take your sanity? Note: high T, emotional stress and questionable mental health. Still a little humor though
1. Waking up

**Hi, welcome to my story : )**

**Please be aware that later on this story will likely be a high T and may include self-harm, the first few chapters should be fairly PG though! I own nothing you recognize, although I think parts of TLtWatW are in the public domain now….. Enjoy!**

. I moaned, pressing my forehead against the cool wooden floor. The pressure and cold did something to numb my headache, but the awkward position hurt my back and rushed blood to my head. Slowly, I raised my head and blinked stupidly in the sudden light. A high and narrow window let the morning sun surround me in hazy yellow light. 'On second thought', I sneezed, 'the yellow might just be dust and stains'. There was certainly more than enough of both. The small room I had found myself in had a mostly clean floor, but the meager furniture- one chair and broken bookshelf and a small table- were hidden under clumsy protectors. Moth-eaten protectors, I noted. The door was old, but swung easily at my touch and presented me with an equally old staircase.

. I walked down the stairs cautiously, alert to the fact that I had no idea where I was. 'For all I know,' I told myself, 'I'm in some stranger's house and they'll chase me out, or I'm in some kind of out-of-bounds area in a museum.' It didn't help my nerves that, for the life of me, I couldn't remember my name. My legs felt wobbly and foreign and by the time I reached the dark hallway, I was missing the comfort of my little room.

. "Edmund!" I jerked, fell backward and landed on my rear end with a loud _thump_.

. "Ed?" a girl poked her head in from one of the rooms down the hall. "If you don't come down now Peter will eat everything."

. "Oh," was all I could manage to croak out. I scrambled to my feet awkwardly, still not adjusted to my new situation. I made to follow the girl, but she ducked out of sight and left me alone. I raced down the corridor. Was it the fifth door on the right? No, that led to an abandoned study. The sixth? Maybe. I ran down that hall until it opened to a large staircase, much brighter and cleaner than the one I had seen before. 'That ought to bode well for me', I thought, if I was getting closer to the used part of the mansion. I clamored down the stairs as quickly as I dared-

_ . Crash!_

. 'That must be the girl, or at least some other living thing.'

. I followed the noise and went left, passing antique furniture and strange paintings until I found a small kitchen- Or rather, the three children in the kitchen. They were huddled over something on the ground and the youngest seemed to be crying.

. "It's all right, Lu," one of the others told her, "we'll get it cleaned up."

. As the two oldest moved to grab a broom and a bucket, I saw that the object of their attention was a small broken glass jar smashed on the ground. It seemed the younger one had dropped in and it upset her, although as I looked at the putrid-smelling, grainy off-white spill I didn't think it was any great loss.

. "Not a word," the tallest (Peter?) warned me. I guessed my disgust showed on my face. Silently I grabbed a thick towel and shoved it under a faucet. I handed it to the boy and he seemed satisfied.

. "So you finally made it to the kitchen, Ed," said the older girl.

. "I got a bit lost," I answered before realizing that I could very well have gotten myself in trouble for that confession.

. "Oh, I'm sorry! That's probably why it was so hard to find you in the first place, wasn't it?" the girl tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder. "Remarkably, there's still some food left- oh Lucy, do stop crying! Look, the floor's already clean and you still have your milk left." As she turned her attention to the little one- Lucy, I gathered- I was free to take inventory of the little room.

. Honestly, it wasn't a real kitchen. It was like one of those side rooms built next to kitchen in very old houses, or a large butlers' pantry. The spread on the table consisted of bread and various jars, some of which contained what I suspected- with growing dread- was supposed to resemble meat. I picked the jar that smelled the most like peanut butter and said a silent prayer.

. Lucy had stopped crying and was tugging on the hands of the other two, "Oh please! Just for a little while, it's so beautiful out!"

. "The fresh air might do us some good," the older girl admitted.

. "Only if you can beat me to the front door!" Peter grinned impishly and Lucy jumped gleefully, squealing with delight.

. 'You get what you want a lot of the time, don't you Lu?' I wondered if that was something I had just picked up on, or something that I had already known.

. "What about you Ed?" Lucy turned those sparkling blue eyes on me and I felt the corners of my mouth pull a small grin in response.

. "Oh, I'll catch up later," not the answer she was looking for, but I needed to get my bearings and try to figure this out before anyone caught me.

. The three left happily enough and I seized the opportunity to search for a mirror. As I watched the others go I had seen the ghost of something similar in their faces-likely they were siblings- and was suddenly desperate to know what I looked like.

. It hit me in one of the nearly unlit hallways. I didn't know my own face. I stretched out my hand- a stranger's. My breathing hitched. What had I done? Was this my body- I couldn't remember any other? But then why did this one feel so strange?

. I wrapped my arms around myself, biting back sobs. I don't know how long I sat there, rocking myself back and forth, tentatively touching my own hand and face- trying to recognize it. Eventually I heard footsteps and I hurriedly moved to wipe my tears away.

. A small noise of surprise, and then, "Poor dear, I imagine you're missing your mother."

. I raised my head to look at the new arrival, which she seemed to take as a yes. "It'll be all right, you want some hot chocolate right about now, don't you?" she looked friendly, even if her manner was very formal.

. I shook my head. "Tired," I whispered, embarrassed to be caught acting particular.

. "Well then, back to your room I suppose." She brushed her hands on her maid's uniform and started off at a commanding pace.

. I stood stiffly, trying to follow as nonchalantly as I could under the circumstances.

. She led me to an area much closer to the kitchen, but farther back in the house than I had been before. Thankfully my peers had left the doors to the bedrooms open, otherwise I wouldn't have known which room to enter and could have ended up looking very silly.

. "Thanks," I managed a fragile smile, which she returned with a sweet one of her own. As soon as she was out of sight, I slumped over the nearest bed and allowed my drowsy eyes to droop. Sleep, blessed sleep.

**That's chapter 1! See you guys soon for the next chapter.**

**Edit: as you can probably tell, I am still experiencing formatting problems. Let me know how if it's too hard to read or anything like that and I'll definitely try to fix it. (I also noticed part of a sentence disappeared in cyber space somehow, if it seems like there's a chunk missing please tell me! thank you!)**


	2. In the Dark

**Wow guys, two chapters in one day? I must be a really dedicated author. Or maybe I just want to feel justified when I leave "update!" comments on other people's stories ^_^ **

**I have not gained the rights to the World of Narnia in the last 24 hours, and so must add this disclaimer. Enjoy! **

I suppose you could call it instinct, or maybe paranoia, but even in my sleep I had a sinking feeling that something bad was going to happen. A moment of weightlessness and a sudden crash confirmed my little prophecy. At least some blankets softened the blow, I thought blearily.

"I tried to wake you up the normal way," an all-too-cheerful voice informed me, "but you wouldn't budge. Who said you could sleep on my bed?"

My jaw dropped as I looked up at the older boy, who towered above me and held a thin mattress- _that I had been sleeping on_\- in his hands.

"You flipped me, you great big-!"

"Let's not finish that sentence," He dropped his mattress and held his hands out defensively.

I picked myself off the ground as gracefully as I could, tangled as I was in blankets and sheets.

My roommate seemed to think that justice was done and began to get settled for bed. I, of course, was not sleeping anywhere near someone like that until I knew they were well and truly asleep. Instead, I stumbled out the door in search of a bathroom. The first room I tried was a closet, but next to it I found a nice little washroom that seemed functional. Like the rest of the house, everything looked antique, with claw feet and shiny metal. Most importantly, the mirror was in perfect condition.

My eyes flickered, taking in every feature. Dark hair, pale blue eyes. Button nose, freckles, skinny build. I looked for something, something profound to tie me to the others. My nose was similar, maybe. Or maybe not, I had trouble recalling the exact shape of the others' noses. It was hard to know if I was overlooking the resemblance or exaggerating it.

I sighed, lying on the ground, wondering what to do. What choices- if any- did I really have, I wondered. The other children seemed to know me, even if I didn't know myself. I hadn't seen any parents around, or any indication of who they might be. Parents. I didn't have any memories of them, but I found myself hoping that they were both alive and happy together, and that they would come and see me. The practical side of me argued that it was better not to see any parents- they, surely, would recognize an imposter.

'I should leave,' I acknowledged, 'I don't know if I have any right to Edmund's life.' But I had nowhere to go and literally nothing, not even a body, that wasn't Edmund's. 'Perhaps it's all right,' I patted my arms and shoulders to comfort myself, 'it's very possible that I have always been Edmund, and I just have a faulty memory.' That was as likely as anything else, I decided. And of course if I'm Edmund, then the thing to do is to continue being Edmund without arising anyone's suspicion. Just in case.

I had thought myself a very capable comforter and was about to return to the bedroom when I heard a soft snore and my stomach clenched. Why should I return to a room with a stranger in it? A stranger who knew more about myself than I did. I spun on my heel. I didn't need to go far, just a down the hall a bit…around a corner…

I pushed a half open door with my shoulder when it didn't respond to my hand. I entered the sitting room slowly, dragging my socked feet against the rough wooden floor. The floor was covered with scrapes and scratches, like someone had been moving furniture, or brawling. The room was dominated by a large couch in the center of the room placed perpendicular to a grand window that was no barrier to the moon's light.

I shivered, wondering how many creatures could spy on me by the moon's glow. 'You're alone, there's nothing to worry about.' I knew I was right, but it didn't ease my resentment against anything that could watch me while I was asleep and unaware. Even the moon.

I crossed the room to the shadowy side, characterized by forgotten knickknacks and piles of rugs pillows and sheets. My eyes adjusted further and I saw the subtle affect the patterned cloth had in the meager light. I crouched, reaching out to touch a rolled up floor rug dominated by dark blue with touches of red and gold. 'Worn, but still majestic,' I marveled. I heaved the rug away from the wall and dragged it close to the couch. With some effort I managed to fold the monster in thirds so that I had a double layer as a seat and a single layer to act as a blanket. I sat cross legged and tilted my head back until it rested on the back of the couch. It felt so much easier to be in the dark, where everything was quiet and still. The fear was still there, but I hoped any eerie night-creatures would mistake me for another lump of furniture, or even one of them.

'Get a hold of yourself! You are- well, actually I don't know how old you are, but you are too old to be afraid of ghosts and crawlies, and- and nightmares!' I told myself sternly. So I wrapped myself up in my kingly carpet and pretended to sleep, under theprotection of the couches' shadow.

**Poor Edmund. Too confused to be comfortable with the others, too frightened to be alone. I really am a devilish author aren't I? **

**You may have noticed some awkward formatting on the first chapter, I'm sorry and hopefully everything will go smoothly this time. Either way I will re-edit and fix any issues. Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated!**


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